It’s very much of me back again….

the title might not suggest the right thing, but yes a few old habits are back together.  feeling tense and another one – forgetting a lot.  are they related? might be. if you grow tense you might forget a few things or if you aren’t you won’t. there’s a direct relationship between them or inverse. whatever.

it’s interesting to note that like a friend pointed out yesterday, i have been missing meditation in between ~ and there have been huge gaps. might be the reason for the old wine to reappear and change the flow of thoughts. generate some undercurrents. funny.

#1 : it happened last thursday, that i had went to an atm machine, and had some cash. and forgot the card. and completely forgot it. completely. which bank? which branch? @ what time? it went unnoticed till the petrol tank (gas) of my bike went dry with few amount of fuel remaining (on saturday). i went to another atm of my bank and found out that the wallet was missing the atm card. how would it be? let us check @ the house. so i tried to forget the matter again. sunday comes in and goes and i try to figure it out again. this time confident of the card being left somewhere. so i call the customer service and they acknowledge the last transaction on thursday and ask me to permanently block the card. no potions. sir – they say.

conclusion: it was possible to get your card a few years back ~ until there was misuse of this facility and other banks’ atm’s on which the customer would have used his card wouldn’t give it easily and there were a huge list of documents to be brought to resolve the matter. funny again.

#2 : on sunday while i left the atm, with no card found, i completely forgot to put on the fuel tank keys. it’s very common. but not until the bike stops and you don’t know where have you kept the keys. so i have to walk around a kilometer back and search for the keys. wth. ridiculous.

#3 : this week, i was completely misunderstood while i forgot to bring my id card at the office. was told to go back. while this may sound ridiculous, though it was, it brought the fun of the college days back. think of going to the college and never attending a lecture of a particular professor. what would you do, miss the regular bus  and come late or whatever. so while it’s interesting to be at work, i tried to have fun by thinking of bunking this time and take the joy back again.

first things first, the one who sent me back wasn’t against me, it’s just a policy issue. from a programmer’s view of things : there are always bugs in the program and somebody has to face it till the software crashes or hangs the machine. then restart. so never complain. everybody isn’t steve jobs to get a 99% perfect machine. no patches later.

secondly, i was far enough from the city so it took more time to come back. having a bruised ego is a pain. faith helps in this concern. it was all lord’s play and i tried to watch it rather than getting into the act of it. this third person view is good, but it creates a hell lot of troubles when we shift into a first person view of things. and last few weeks i was in this transition. you err, you fall and face pain. but it wasn’t you.

the funniest part of it is, putting a mask of what we think to be and what we actually are. things are always different than thoughts. they always will be. what you pretend to be can be different than what you actually are. and thus there are gray shades. there is a white colour, there is  black and there are shades of gray.

after all we all are humans and have special “abilities”. machines are cool, but still haven’t got feelings and there’s where the fun lies.forgetting may be a bad idea, but it helps when you don’t want to remember a few things. and like a coin each side has its own pleasures.



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